worldview comparison

It’s Monday, which means another snow day–time to wonder why it is I live in Michigan and thank God that I didn’t just move to Minneapolis (I’m looking at you, Matt and Andy). I think I understand why John Piper exudes so much passion when he preaches. He’s trying to stay warm. It should also go without saying that it’s easier to desire God above all things when all things are frozen and threatening to kill you.

I found this old “worldview comparison” while preparing for class today. I don’t know who came up with it originally, but some are pretty good. My favorite is Voodoo. Enjoy, and may you read with the good humor in which it is offered. No letters, please.

Capitalism:  He who dies with the most toys wins.

Roman Catholicism:  He who denies himself the most toys wins.

Greek Orthodox:  They were our toys first.

American Evangelicalism:  We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.

Mormonism:  Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Hinduism:  We like all toys.

Seventh Day Adventism:  He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.

Jehovah’s Witness:  He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.

Pentecostalism:  He whose toys can talk wins.

Atheism:  There is no toy maker.

Polytheism:  There are many toymakers.

Evolutionism:  The toys made themselves.

Voodoo:  Hey, let me borrow that doll for a second.

Communism:  Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling toys.

Confucianism:  Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.

4 Comments

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  1. These are good. And I had a Bethlehem MDiv student tell me yesterday that he found panentheism appealing. I punched him in the mouth/god.

  2. Scientology: The E-meter is NOT A TOY.

  3. Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned! You’ll have to give that student the chapter from “Worldly Saints” (I scrubbed out any reference to anyone in particular). Maybe it will scare him straight.

  4. Where’s the one for Islam? And what would that say?

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